Sunday, May 3, 2009

Father Time

"Father Time is a personification of time. He is usually depicted as an elderly bearded man, dressed in a robe, carrying a scythe and an hourglass or other timekeeping device (representing time's constant movement)."

When I think about the time, look at the clock, check my watch, etc., it's usually while I'm in the moment, and generally when it's moving by pretty slowly. But then after the moment's over, I think to myself "time is just passing me by so quickly". I seem to forget about Father Time's hourglass representing "time's constant movement". This brings me to my last posting nearly five months ago.

The last entry posted said I had 41 days until our baby girl was born. Here we are and Sophie is now nearly 4 months old, Avery nearly five, and both John and I another year older. And life at the Mangan household is pretty routine these days. Though I wasn't sure if we'd ever feel that way.

The first couple weeks after the surgery were rough. I was pretty sore, very tired, and everyone was trying to adjust to, really, what was the beginning of a new chapter in our lives as each of our roles in this family had changed, once again, with the addition of new little Sophia Rose.

I forgot how painful it is to wake up from a deep sleep and nurse for 40 minutes and then go back to sleep to be woken up yet again to start the process over. I remember thinking one night: "why didn't God give this parenting task to the dad?" But, I really started to enjoy nursing after a while and when I returned to work this last month, I was disappointed when I wasn't able to pump as often as I wished. But, blessings can come in many disguises and we've just learned that Sophie has gastroesophageal reflux disease (or acid reflux) and may have a lactose intolerance. So, this explains why the projectile vomiting was occurring. I'm telling you, I've never seen any thing like it. I won't go into details. We've had to resort to a lactose-free formula and we're hoping this helps her as she's been pretty miserable lately and is only happy when she's in her momma's arms. I heard Avery say to her yesterday after several minutes of crying, "Sophie, turn that frown upside down!" So cute.

Avery's love for her sister has been truly unconditional. As soon as my belly started growing, she couldn't wait for her sissy to arrive in the real world. She constantly hugged and kissed my belly and loved it when the baby got the hiccups inside my belly. The day I was scheduled for surgery, she had to go to daycare and was able to finally see the baby that evening. She was so anxious to see the baby and when she walked into my room, she said in the tiniest of voices, "Oh mom, look at her tiny ears! She is sooo cute!"

Never once in the last two months has she shown the slightest bit of jealousy or envy towards her sister. Oh, maybe once after the girls at work threw a luncheon/shower for me and I brought home all the gifts. She did say, "Mom, the baby is getting all this stuff like a new crib, blanklets (this is how she still says it even after weeks of trying to correct it), bibs, and stuff, and alls I have is this old dresser!" (we had just gotten a bed set from a friend of ours and yes, it was fairly old, but in my mind, just perfect for Avery--it obviously wasn't up to her standards for her first set of furniture). But, other than that, she's been sweet, kind, loving and the best big sister Sophie could hope for. I'm amazed at the amount of patience she has and I certainly attribute that to her daddy.

When Sophie was crying in the car (which is the worst!) and I was starting to panic a little, Avery just said matter-of-factly, "Mommy, she is probably just crying cause she's hungry." Funny thing though, a few days later, she said she was feeling sick and said "Mom, I know why I'm sick. It's because Sophie cries a lot and my body doesn't like all that crying." I just laughed.

I've quickly noticed how big and grown up Avery is getting by having a new baby at home and I know that these two sisters will grow to love each other as only sisters can. Avery watches over her and cares for her as if she was a second mother to her. I'm so proud of her and can't wait to see their bond strengthen over time.

When we first came home with Sophie, I was definitely sad about the time I had to spend away from Avery. It was something that was really hard for me and I had a lot of guilt knowing I couldn't hold Avery or play with her much. But she was so understanding and after a few weeks with the baby, I felt a lot better about it. Now, I'm able to balance the needs of the baby and play time with Avery. In fact, I took both of the girls swimming last week and it was great! One thing that I've really enjoyed is that having two children really requires you to do a lot of things together. It's awesome when we're all able to go for a walk and play at the park together, Sophie catching a lift in the stroller and Avery riding (and crashing a lot) on her bike. Just doing more together as a family has really made me recognize how important it is to treasure every moment, to get fulfillment from home and family. Sophia has given me such a wonderful gift in that way.

And, by the way, Sophie is just so precious and adorable. She is nearly twelve pounds already and is just starting to smile! She loves to be held and rocked and I sing to her a lot, which she seems to like, too. The swing we have for her has been a life saver during urgent mommy moments like when I have to use the bathroom, take a shower, brush my teeth, etc!

We do tummy time a lot and I set her on my chest and she lifts her little head and looks straight at me. She began turning from tummy to back at six weeks so I can't put her on the bed or couch to rest any longer. She's also been drooling quite a bit and I remember Avery getting her first two teeth at four months, so maybe we'll see some teeth here in the next couple of months. She is beginning to look like her mommy quite a bit, I think, while Avery continues to look more and more like her daddy as she gets older each year.

It's been an extremely fast 15 weeks and after I picked up Sophie from the sitter's, I started to think about time and how quickly these precious moments pass us by. Although some days are definitely chaotic and very challenging, I sat at dinner today and said to John, "we have a great life, you know." And then I prayed that Father Time would let these precious times in our crazy life last a little longer.