I always want to blog about positive things happening in our life, but the majority of our extra cirricular lives right now have been spent at the doctor's office or lately, the Emergency Room. I didn't realize just how little Avery was until Saturday night when she spent the night in Kiddie scrubs that tied at the waist and slept in the hospital bed with an IV in her right hand. It has been really tough to be strong for her; I just wanted to cry right along with her. But, I knew that wouldn't help her get through all of her tests, so I just held her hand and told her it was going to be alright.

For the last two weeks she has had a high fever and has complained of severe abdominal pain and headaches. We had to take her out of school for an entire week because of her fever. We were at the Doctor twice in a week and I just felt at a loss for what I could do for her. She mostly laid on the couch and slept or watched tv. And I knew it was really bad as she is never one to complain about not feeling well, but whatever was happening in her little body completely took everything out of her. She was on some medicine and started to get better but this last Saturday spiked a fever of 103° again and complained that her belly was really hurting. I decided to take her into the ER after talking to a nurse and we proceeded to head there at 7 PM. She had every test run on her that you could possibly imagine-blood tests, urinalysis, strep test, flu test, chest x-rays, and then came the worst...they told us that because of the pain in her abdomin, she needed a CT scan to check her appendix. That meant drinking two full glasses of contrast (dye) in a limited amount of time. She'd already thrown up earlier from the strep test and she really struggled getting it down. At around 2:30 AM we finally got the CT scan done and at 3, with no answers to why she might be feeling this way, we went home.

I am so proud of her. She was so brave and I am amazed at how strong she is. God blessed us with an amazing and precious little girl and I know that she is going to be a strong woman when she grows up.

She was prescribed some anti-biotics and has been fever-free for three days now. She hasn't complained too much of a belly ache, but she has said once or twice that it was hurting. And as soon as she says that, my heart just sinks.

As I was praying during our ER visit, I also got a very small taste of what it must be like for parent's of children who have cancer, or an illness of that type. I prayed for them as well as seeing your child, any child, going through pain is unbearable. She is back in school and seems to be doing much better. I can't wait to see her silliness and excitement for life come back 100% as we just aren't quite there yet. Our girl's are the center of our lives and even while I'm here at work, they are always on my mind.

On a lighter note...Sophie is crawling!!! However, if she can reach something without having to crawl, she'll do so. She'll lay down on her belly and extend her arm until her little fingers can get whatever she so badly wants. It is just so funny. She is also giving kisses. Not on demand, but once in a while she'll look right at me and close her eyes and lean her face forward until her face touches mine. It is the most precious thing. She is such a busy girl and wants to be right in the middle of whatever is going on. It is tough to get her to sleep because she is always trying to see what else is happening. She must think she is missing out on something.

I had the priveledge of attending the Bobcat football semi-final game last week with mom, dad, and Griff. It was so exciting and it was such fun. They play in the Championship game tomorrow and we're all headed to mom's to watch. I just can't wait!

Also, I'd like to give a shout out to Leah! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Can't wait to see everyone here over the holidays! Love you all.

Sophie and Avery

Forgot to tell you about what is happening in Sophie's life. She is just returning to her normal self, finally, after being sick for what feels like almost a month. I think it has been almost a month. I just feel so bad for her poor little nose with all those sticky ickies in there. Not being able to just blow them out would be awful. But, she is feeling a lot better and this weekend she spent most of the time giggling, smiling, playing, just being silly.

She has been sitting up all by herself, though when I play peek-a-boo with her, she gets so excited, she tips over. It is so sweet. She so longs to do what her big sister does and just looks at her and laughs and smiles at everything she does. Avery will want to hold her a few times throughout the day and Sophie just reaches for me, I think only because she wants to be able to see what her sister is doing at all times. I just can't wait until they can play together, though I know Sophie will do anything her sister tells her to do, as Avery is pretty good at being little Miss Bossy. I try to call it "assertive" or "leadership", but if I were to really be blunt and honest, it is plain old bossy. It will pass, I know.

Sophie continues to make all sorts of noises and sounds. When she gets hungry, she puts her hands up out to the side of her head and wiggles her fingers while rotating them from side to side. It is hilarious! Until she gets a bite, she will--ooo, ooo, ooo. Then as soon as we get it to her mouth, she'll give a breathy mmmm. So funny.

She's been loving Uncle Griffy. Smiles at him constantly. He has always been great with kids and they seem to love him for his willingness to play any game, be any animal, basically follow any rule they make up and continue to play any game with an undying amount of patience. Thank you, Griff!

Peek-a-boo is becoming a great game for Sophie. She loves the surprise, like most babies do, and peeks at the spot where I was last seen until I come up and say "boo!" She just opens her mouth wide and is so surprised only a short laugh comes out.

She's not crawling yet, but I think here in the next month or so we'll be close. She is still most comfortable with mom--sitting on her lap or just being in the vicinity usually is good, too. If she is in her jumper and doing great playing, I'll try to sneak away without allowing her to notice. If she sees me, she begins to cry.

Sleeping is finally getting better for everyone. She slept through the night the last couple of nights and I only heard her cough or make noise a couple of times. Sometimes she is under the covers and upside down when I go get her and I need to take a before and after picture. I don't know how she does it.

Avery has been doing great at school and has her first prayer service coming up. She stood at the pew after church today so she could practice while Sophie napped. It was dark and everyone had left, so she felt secure enough to do it in front of me, though even that is hard for her. She says "We bring down the cross to help remind us how important Jesus is in our families." Great one liner, I'd have to say.

After we went through it the first time, I asked her if she knew what that meant. She said she forgot. I am so happy with her school, but one frustration is that there is so much going through the motions without much explanation of why. Why does the symbol of a cross remind us of Jesus? She didn't know. Why is God our Ruler? She didn't know. So, this is something that, as parents, we try to help her understand. And though we have talked and talked about it throughout her life, I know it's still hard for her to understand. As a child (and human), we base everything we know on our senses--what we see, hear, smell, taste and touch. Faith isn't something so easily understood. But, I think John and I are doing our very best to help her understand that Jesus is with us everyday, guiding us and helping us to love each other and live life how He wants us to live it. That He died for us, so that we could be together as a family right now, in this very moment. And even though I share that with what seems like amazing faith, I'm always praying that He'll help to make me a stronger Christian, to help strengthen my faith in him and trust that He continues to have plans for me in this life. But, I think He's doing some of that by allowing me to share with my children, His amazing grace. How cool is that?!

Just another manic Monday

What a great weekend we had! I'm so sad it's over. It really almost makes me want to cry knowing I've got to take the kids to school/daycare tomorrow and go in to work. But, that's the life of a family with two working parents. Someday, I always say, someday our school loans will be paid back, and I'll be able to stay at home at least part of the week with the girls. Someday isn't going to be for a while, I'm afraid.

When Monday comes around now, I just dread taking Sophie to the sitter. Not because I'm anxious about her being there, but I totally miss my children. And I certainly feel like I miss out on all the things she does each day--the sounds she makes, her smiles, possibly her first time crawling or saying her first word. It makes me sad even writing about it!

I just thank God that we've got Sophie in great care while we are away and I know Avery is right at home at her school. That is what I'm thankful for even if it's hard to acknowledge the fact that I'm not with them. That someone else is the parent for the day while I'm away.

Sophie's sitter always tells me how wonderful and how good Sophie is for her. All the kids call her "Grandma" and they really seem to genuinely love her. She always leaves Sophie with a hug and kiss before we go home for the day and when I arrive, and I so appreciate the fact that, even if I'm gone, she's got a gentle, kind, compassionate soul loving and caring for her. I know Jesus took care of that for us by allowing us to find her. I only wish there were more like her out there. It was just awful trying to find good care for her and I was struggling to keep it together by the end of it all.

However, with the economy in the shape it's in, I just continue to tell myself that I need to be grateful that I still have a job, as our company continues to lay employees off. Both John and I go to bed not really knowing what tomorrow brings for us all. I suppose that isn't different than any other day, but we truly are a lot more appreciative of our jobs and how they allow us to provide for our family, in some ways, and give them what they need, provide them with a present and future educations, medical insurance, etc.

On a lighter note, we truly had a wonderful weekend. The girls and I went to Earl May for their fall festival like we do every year and Avery ate two bags of popcorn, cotton candy, got her face and arms painted a few times over, looked at all the animals, did the maze and played with some other kids, too. Sophie mostly slept (which I was thankful for because I felt like we were there forever! I think we were there for almost three hours!). Mom, dad, Griff and I played some games together this afternoon for about an hour--Dad, your Taboo skills are improving! John got a great amount done on his projects around the house (new bathroom downstairs, new windows, doors, etc.). In fact, he's outside now doing something--sounds like he's sawing something--and will probably be working for a while. He did take a break and watch the Iowa game last night. I fell asleep before I saw it turnaround for the Hawks and just assumed they lost until he told me this morning that they won! YAH Hawks! And I saw him pour himself a nice cold beer into our frosty mug. He continues to think I may someday like the taste of beer and buys all different kinds for me to try. Well, really because he wants to drink them, but when he gets home and uncaps the bottle, I'm the first one he wants to take a sip! "Try this one! You'll really like it! It almost tastes like...fruity or something"! Umm, you mean it tastes like a fruity skunk? Anyway, I'm glad he can enjoy it once in a while. As for me, I'll pass and drink some Coke or something. I made some chili and he ate that with his beer.

He looked right at home in his chair, drinking a beer and eating chili. I think this is the epitome of my husband and when I think of him, I think of comfort and home. I love him for that. After a bad day, he'll give me a bear hug and try to make me taste his beer-I'll laugh and he'll laugh and then we'll forget the long day at work and get back to enjoying what really matters--family and these wondrous, precious, and very few hours we have together before another week starts.

Wow! I think this is a record for shortest time in between blogs. I'm on a role. Now, if I can just keep it up.

I'm at work on lunch break now, so I'm going to use this time to quick post a blog...and stuff in a bite between sentences.

Today was the first day since last winter, of course, that I felt like I just couldn't get myself out of bed. I was awake, but it was dark and I could hear raindrops outside and I was snuggly and warm. And boy, was I tired.

It seems as though we've taken two steps back and are now in the routine of waking up in the middle of the night again, at least three to four times with Sophie. I just can't figure it out. She finally got past the flu and I think we are dealing with either a tooth coming in or another cold. She just can't make it through an entire night anymore. And I think it's worse for everyone now because we think she should be sleeping through the night. She is six months old. But, however tired, frustrated and zombie-like I am, as soon as I open the door to get her, she instantly holds her breath and waits to see me. Then, as I hover over the crib, she kicks her legs all around, like she's kicking off her blankets and starts to ooo, and ahhhh, and then she smiles. It is so sweet.

John told me a great story about Avery and when she was sick with the flu. I don't remember him telling me this earlier, but it was so great to hear about it. It put a smile on my face this morning while I was deliberating weather or not to take Sophie to day care (all you stay-at-home moms: so happy that you don't have to think about these types of things!).

As a baby, when Avery would get sick, her eyes would always get a little crusty. Yes, it was icky, but like my Grandma wiping away the stray kitten's crusty eyes with a warm cloth, I so love taking care of my children, regardless of the task (uh, minus vomit--that I still struggle with, naturally). Anyway, one morning she'd woken up and was making noises in her crib to let us know she was awake. John went in to get her and when he walked through the door, he saw that she had green snot running out of her nose and her eyes were crusted shut. But she was standing up holding on to the side of the crib bouncing up and down and had a huge smile on her face because she heard her daddy come in. So cute. I can just picture it. She's always been such a good sport. He said that just "melted" his heart.

I'm praying that all this illness and glitches in her health are short-lived and we can move on! It certainly has felt like a long six months in the regard that we've had so many little blurps here and there. Otherwise, it's gone so fast.

On a happier note, prior to Sophie having what I think is a cold, she spent the afternoon with her wonderful Great Grandma Opal and Grandpa Tom. John and I attended Wicked at the Civic Center with Mom, Dad, and Griff and we were so appreciative that they were able to be with her for a few hours. She already loves them so much. And, the show was AWESOME! But we quickly hurried back afterwards and when we picked up Sophie from Grandma and Grandpa's, Grandma was pushing her around in her stroller. Although I know everything was just fine, I know Sophie well enough to know that no matter who she's with, she wants all the attention all the time. And lucky her, Grandma Opal is totally okay with that! We love you for spoiling our children! And for being wonderful Grandparents!

Avery's open house is tonight at school and I am anxious to hear how everything has been going as her typical response to my question: how was school? is "fine". She's only five. Not thirteen! But, I am assured of this fact when she snuggles with me on the couch or wants to hold my hand or bake something with me. Can't wait until Sophie can join in with her big sister and they can do these fun things together! For now, though, I'm happy with my little babies as they are in this very moment!

Funny phraseology

Okay, some background info...

Our community Y has these "family rooms" so that the entire family can go in and change and take a shower, etc. After swimming lessons, Avery and John went in so she could take a shower.

"Dad, it smells bad in here. It (sniff, sniff)…smells like poop…..like (sniff, sniff)…man poop."

No further comments on that one.

"I have a secret, dad. But you can't tell anyone. Not even yourself. Okay?"
"Mom, can I have some of that spagaragous?"
"Ugh, those eggs smell like refrigerator".
"But dad! Next weekend won't even get here 'til Tuesday!"

Avery's learning a lot of prayers at school and we say a prayer before dinner each night. She always gets this one little part wrong, which is just so cute and funny. We try so hard not to laugh.

"...which we are 'bout to receive, from thy botchy, through Christ, our Lord, Amen."
(botchy is actually "bounty"-- so funny.)

Avery was also the "Star" at school this last week. She was able to cut out pictures of all the things she likes and answer some questions about herself. Then the teacher placed them up on this big board. She brought her favorite books and shared them. On Friday, John and I, Grandpa Tom and mom and dad came. She stood up in front of the class with a crown on (she hates to be the center-of-attention and it was painful to watchu) and used a pointer (which, at first, she though was her point finger) to explain why she cut out what she did. Her teacher went to sit down on the counter next to her and accidentally knocked her over and she fell. All the kids laughed and I though, oh no. She got up and started rubbing her eyes--a sign that she's just about ready to start crying. But, she recovered after mommy distracted her. I could tell we were going to be in for a brutal 10 minutes. We were...the next ten minutes were spent with one of saying "honey, we can't hear you" and my child completely disappeared in anxiety. I just wanted to go give her a hug, but I continued to watch and immediately prayed that she wouldn't have the same problem as me. I absolutely HATE (it's a strong word, but it's really true!) standing in front of a crowd and giving speeches. My dreams of becoming a star came to halt in 7th grade when I realized this. Practice makes perfect and I took this opportunity to just let this be her first "practice".

Her teacher proceeded to ask her questions about her magazine cutouts. On the page about her, she had a small picture of herself and a life-sized cutout of a face of an African-American girl. I thought this was interesting and at home I had asked her what made her cut out this little girl. Was it her pretty smile? Was it her hair? Nope, she stated she simply like her earring.

There were little cutouts that the teacher made after asking her questions prior in the week and they were hung with Avery's answers on them (these were questions the teacher asked again, Friday, in front of us). I read them and they were true, but everything changes in front of a crowd...

Teacher: What's your favorite color?
Avery: Black (it's red, always has been)

What's your favorite sports team?
The Hawkeyes (What?!)

Do you like spaghetti?
No (it's her all time favorite)

What do you like to do at home?
Nothing. (on the board, it said: plant flowers with mommy, which is true.)

Do you like movies?
No. (She loves all Disney movies)

This continued and I sat there in absolute horror! Where did Avery go? Did her twin who's favorite color is black and who loves the Hawkeyes step in? The students in her class sat there answering all of her questions--I LOVE spaghetti, they said. Oooh, the Hawkeyes are good, they yelled! Then they heard the other class singing a song and began clapping to it!

Finally, it was over. I got it on tape and will post it as soon as I figure that out! It is just painful to watch. But, so bittersweet in a way.

As soon as the teacher told her she could take her crown off and come sit down with mom and dad, she ran over and gave us a hug and returned to being her true self. We sat down at dinner and talked about it a little bit. That it is okay to be nervous, but that it's also okay to be honest and different. That God made us this way so that we can share our differences with others and learn from them! If He made us all the same, we wouldn't learn anything from each other. Hard lesson and one that I still struggle with as an adult. She is so precious to us and I can't wait to see her grow into a young lady, confident in herself!

Summer Happenings

I am just the worst. It has been two months since I last posted a blog. Jer thinks his two weeks is bad...man, I'm the worst. But, in my defense, I just am not on my computer at home a whole lot as by 9, I've finally gotten the kids down for bed and then head to bed myself so we can survive the next day! Excuses, excuses.

The last couple of months have just been so great and we are all trying to enjoy every moment as we know winter is nearing. I get anxious (and not in a good way) just thinking about it. I always think of the movie "The Christmas Story" when the younger brother puts on his snow suit and falls down in the snow and can't get up because his snow suit simply doesn't allow for bending. Makes me laugh, but then I look back at what Avery wore when she was a little baby her first winter and it was exactly the same type of suit, but in purple!


Well, as for Sophie, she has just been a much happier baby, though I've come to realize I have two very different children...


I think God gave us Avery first as a little favor. She was just such an easy baby. She's simply a go-with-the-flow type of gal, really, and was like this as a baby, too. She never really cried much, slept through the night at two months, didn't have any health issues, loved and trusted everybody and is extremely outgoing and independent. She is such a people-pleaser to her advantage sometimes and unfortunately, to her disadvantage at other times (much like her mother in that way, I'm afraid). I think she'll always be this way.


Sophie is already six months old and her personality differs from Avery in nearly every aspect. She is just an overall very sensitive baby. Lights, sounds, changes, people she doesn't know--these things bother her and she is most comfortable in the arms of mom or dad. This seemingly makes life difficult for everyone right now. Her health has been somewhat of an issue at times as well.


I think in past blogs, I've noted her colic and all the changes in my diet when I was nursing (no dairy, no tomato-based food, no spicy foods. Really just a lot of Malt-O-Meal--yum.). In August, we took a trip to the emergency room with her at about 1 AM as we thought she was having a seizure. There were a lot of signs and symptoms that aligned with those of a seizure and I was sure we were in for bad news. She was having trouble breathing, her body was completely rigid and she wasn't responsive to either John or I. We were just so scared and I, as always, assumed the worst (and prayed for the best) before I even asked any questions. The doctor told us that she has severe acid reflux, which we just couldn't believe. She had been on medicine prior, and we knew there were some issues. But, what I saw didn't seem like acid reflux. Well, we went home that night and increased her medicine dosage, propped about 10 text books under one side of the crib (so it inclined) as directed, and all was well! She was doing great and our worry subsided.

Then, two weeks ago, she began to cough. I dismissed it as just the common cold. Two days later, the cough turned into runny nose and fever. Then we went back to the doctor. Long story short, after x-rays and exam, her flu test came back positive. So, we stayed at home with her for five days and were up nearly every night on and off for a week because her cough gets worse during the night. I have felt like this poor little baby has been through so much in her first six months of life and I've prayed that we can finish out the year without any further sicknesses. Fortunately, none of the rest of us got the flu and we're all doing great. Sophie is feeling a lot better and is now laughing and smiling again.

John and I took a trip down to Ames to watch Iowa State play Iowa a couple of weeks ago--YIKES! Hard to watch (unless you're an Iowa fan, of course). MACS, Avery's school, does fundraising down at the game and parents can sell ISU programs. John and I sold programs (prooogram, prooograms, getchyour programs!) and then got to go to the game for free! It's a great idea and we really did enjoy it-except that John would always try to come sell his programs in my territory and that bothered me. Those programs were so heavy! And he's taller so all those people could see his head poking above the crowd while I got lost in it. It really was a blast, even though our team lost.

Avery's birthday was awesome and she got so many sweet cards and cool things! Thanks, everyone for sending cards. You'll be getting a thank-you soon (sending them out today)!

Sophie is now sitting up by herself and eating all sorts of yummy baby foods. She LOVES all sorts of veggies and the diaper genie gets filled up with stinky diapers quite often, now. Sometimes she leaves us with colorful surprises, which ironically match the color of whatever food she's eaten that day!

We've been treasuring the nice weather and try to go on a walk each night or head to the park, though, last night it was too cold. Sophie loves being outside and looks around with wide eyes taking it all in. There's a little park just down the road and every time we go, it's like Avery has never been there before because she's excited just as much the next time we go. I love her for this. I certainly wish I could feel like that each time I come to work or take a trip to Wal-Mart, etc.!! In fact, I'm going to work on that! Maybe it will become exciting if I just act like it's exciting!

A wink and a smile

This last weekend we were definitely blessed with some beautiful Iowa weather. A few sunny 72 degree days with absolutely no humidity. Definitely out of the ordinary but a completely happy surprise.

Mom made some chili Saturday, and at first I thought, who in the world would want chili in July? But it was just perfect--kind of like the first days of fall (our favorite season here in the Mangan household) with Cyclone football, tailgating with friends and family, and of course--chili and wings.

John and I took the kids to daycare Thursday as we were needing to do a lot of yard work. In the course of the four day weekend, we managed to pull out ALL of our many bushes and plants, plant nearly 40 different flowers, bushes, etc. and dig and dig and plant. It was totally exhausting. In the midst of our day Friday, Avery and the girls were outside with us. We have this totally cool old tree swing that our neighbor, Charlie Brown (sound familiar?) repaired for us and Avery loves to swing on it. I was holding Sophie so she could watch her sister swing while John pushed Avery higher and higher. All of a sudden, Sophie began cracking up. I mean, just cracking up. Whenever Avery would swing towards us, Sophie would just laugh so hard that she could barely stand it. I couldn't see her face because she was facing outwards, so at first, I thought: great, she's gonna have a major blow out. I better get ready to run. But after the initial sounds, when she began heeling over from laughing so hard, I was just so excited. To hear a baby laugh, especially when it's your own baby, is like a little piece of heaven. It lasted for a couple of minutes. Then she got bored and we moved on. From that moment to the present, her sister is the ONLY one that has gotten her to laugh like that. Grandma Nancy did a couple of times, but she thinks Avery is the funniest thing in the world and Avery just loves to make her sister smile.

Sometimes, having children, especially in those early months when you're just on automatic, you think--man, is this going to get easier, better, more fun for everyone? In that single moment when you hear your child laugh for the first time like Sophie did Friday, you sorta forget those times and realize every tough moment, every tear you've shed from pure exhaustion or pain is all totally worth it.

We definitely all felt like God gave us a wink and a smile this weekend by giving us such great weather for the tough job we had landscaping, giving Sophie the gift of laughter and letting us witness it for the first time, and blessing us with the gift of seeing our two beautiful, healthy girls enjoy each other like only sisters can.

I can't wait until I have some time to figure out how to add pictures to this! I tried last week, but when I posted them, it cut everyone's face in half! Not good. I'll try again soon. Love you all and sure hoping you were able to enjoy last weekend's beautiful weather, too.

Funny phraseology

Avery:

"Sophie, turn that frown upside down!" (Sophie had been crying for a while when Avery bent over and told her this in passing.)

Avery: Mom, does God make all this stuff? Like trees and grass and corn and stuff?
Mom: Yes, he has made it all for us.
Avery: Yeah, but does he even make the planet?
Mom: Yes, he even made the planets.
Avery: Man, he must be sweating all the time!

Avery: Dad, does a C look like an H?
Dad: No, a C doesn't look like an H.
Avery: No, I mean like does a real C look like an H?
Dad: No, I don't know what you mean. A C never looks like an H.
Avery: Oh, yeah. Okay. I just meant a real one.
I think this conversation fizzled out after this comment as I didn't hear any response from John. I don't think he probably knew what else to say.

"Mom, I love you to the moon and the stars and the planets".

Avery: What do doctors do?
Mom: You know that doctors help us to get better if we're feeling sick. They know all about how our bodies work and what to do to fix them if we're sick.
Avery: Do they even know what sick dogs look like?
Mom: (short pause) Um, not all doctors. Just doctors called Veterinarians who take care of animals and not people.
Avery: "Mom, I made this trampoline for dogs that are sick at day care. It's one sick trampoline."

Avery: Dad, you know what I call goose bumps?
Dad: No, what do you call them?
Avery: I call them goose pimps.

Avery: Mom, why do you have your ears appeared (pierced)?

Avery: Grandma, who was my mommy before, when she lived with you at your house?

Avery: Grandma, did you know I have this sister in Des Moines and I go to visit her sometimes?
To clear the air on this one...no, she doesn't have a sister in Des Moines. She sometimes talks about made-up friends or people. Don't know where she comes up with them, but it's sure interesting.

Avery: Mom, I didn't cut my hair. It actually flew from Grandma's house's garbage can into my can! I don't even know how it did that.
She finally told the truth after several strings of lies about flying hair. There was a giant piece of her hair laying in the garbage can. I had to take all of her scissors away as punishment. Too funny!

Avery: Mom, I am not even going to talk if you don't listen.
(I was in the car, in a hurry probably answering all of her questions with an "uh huh, uh huh, yep") Can't fool her.

I have been trying to teach Avery how to tie her shoes for months now. We don't seem to get anywhere. One day a few weeks ago, Avery said after day care, "Mom, watch this". She proceeded to tie her shoe in a matter of seconds, no mistakes. I was in awe and shock and asked her how she learned how to do this in one day. She said "Korrinn taught me". Korrinn is five. I wish I was there that day to see how it all happened. Amazing.

"Dad, are you going to transform yourself into a, a, a booger?"
She was dead serious on this one. I don't know if she meant to say something else and the word booger just came out, but it was sure funny.

Avery: "Mom, I want a cavity."
Mom: Remember what a cavity is?
Avery: Oh, man. I mean a vitamin!

God's answer is sometimes "No".

I have to tell you about Fr. Don's homily this past week at church and how I was able to experience his message this morning. It was just a pivotal moment for me.

Fr. Don's message was about how we incorporate prayer in our life and how we have to understand that sometimes, the answer God gives us to what we ask for in prayer is going to be "no"...

Sophie was scheduled for a Doctor's appointment this morning at 9 and I decided to stay home with her until then rather then drop her off at the sitter's just to have to pick her up again just an hour later. She has been miserable lately and I was really struggling with finding ways to console her. I just prayed to God that He would give me the grace to get through the morning without losing my patience, that He would make it easier for me.

Well, after two hours of crying and many outfit changes later, we got ready to leave for the medical clinic. The moment I had grabbed my purse, put Sophie in the car seat, and grabbed the diaper bag, it started to pour. I mean pour! I ran outside and put Sophie in the car quickly and got in the car only to realize I'd forgotten my keys inside. So, I went inside and grabbed the keys. I started the car, pulled out of the drive, and turned the corner and there, not two blocks away, was a road block. At that very moment I looked up at the sky and smiled and thought--God, your answer to my prayers this morning was definitely a "no". And then, I thought, maybe, it's not all about me anyway!

I shouldn't have been praying for him to make it easier for me. What I should have been praying for was for Sophie's health; that He would help her to become healthy, well, happy. That He would make life a little easier for her.

I know that sometimes, as a parent and as a human, I ask God to help me get through moments that really don't have much to do about me. Out of selfishness, I prayed for those things this morning and His answer was "no".

But, to the greater issue--Sophie's health--His answer was always "yes". I never even had to ask. He's watching over his precious child and caring for her without selfishness in his heart and teaching me to do the same thing.

Sophie is just fine, now. She's feeling much better and I think I learned a great life lesson today as a Christian, as a parent, and as a human being.

Father Time

"Father Time is a personification of time. He is usually depicted as an elderly bearded man, dressed in a robe, carrying a scythe and an hourglass or other timekeeping device (representing time's constant movement)."

When I think about the time, look at the clock, check my watch, etc., it's usually while I'm in the moment, and generally when it's moving by pretty slowly. But then after the moment's over, I think to myself "time is just passing me by so quickly". I seem to forget about Father Time's hourglass representing "time's constant movement". This brings me to my last posting nearly five months ago.

The last entry posted said I had 41 days until our baby girl was born. Here we are and Sophie is now nearly 4 months old, Avery nearly five, and both John and I another year older. And life at the Mangan household is pretty routine these days. Though I wasn't sure if we'd ever feel that way.

The first couple weeks after the surgery were rough. I was pretty sore, very tired, and everyone was trying to adjust to, really, what was the beginning of a new chapter in our lives as each of our roles in this family had changed, once again, with the addition of new little Sophia Rose.

I forgot how painful it is to wake up from a deep sleep and nurse for 40 minutes and then go back to sleep to be woken up yet again to start the process over. I remember thinking one night: "why didn't God give this parenting task to the dad?" But, I really started to enjoy nursing after a while and when I returned to work this last month, I was disappointed when I wasn't able to pump as often as I wished. But, blessings can come in many disguises and we've just learned that Sophie has gastroesophageal reflux disease (or acid reflux) and may have a lactose intolerance. So, this explains why the projectile vomiting was occurring. I'm telling you, I've never seen any thing like it. I won't go into details. We've had to resort to a lactose-free formula and we're hoping this helps her as she's been pretty miserable lately and is only happy when she's in her momma's arms. I heard Avery say to her yesterday after several minutes of crying, "Sophie, turn that frown upside down!" So cute.

Avery's love for her sister has been truly unconditional. As soon as my belly started growing, she couldn't wait for her sissy to arrive in the real world. She constantly hugged and kissed my belly and loved it when the baby got the hiccups inside my belly. The day I was scheduled for surgery, she had to go to daycare and was able to finally see the baby that evening. She was so anxious to see the baby and when she walked into my room, she said in the tiniest of voices, "Oh mom, look at her tiny ears! She is sooo cute!"

Never once in the last two months has she shown the slightest bit of jealousy or envy towards her sister. Oh, maybe once after the girls at work threw a luncheon/shower for me and I brought home all the gifts. She did say, "Mom, the baby is getting all this stuff like a new crib, blanklets (this is how she still says it even after weeks of trying to correct it), bibs, and stuff, and alls I have is this old dresser!" (we had just gotten a bed set from a friend of ours and yes, it was fairly old, but in my mind, just perfect for Avery--it obviously wasn't up to her standards for her first set of furniture). But, other than that, she's been sweet, kind, loving and the best big sister Sophie could hope for. I'm amazed at the amount of patience she has and I certainly attribute that to her daddy.

When Sophie was crying in the car (which is the worst!) and I was starting to panic a little, Avery just said matter-of-factly, "Mommy, she is probably just crying cause she's hungry." Funny thing though, a few days later, she said she was feeling sick and said "Mom, I know why I'm sick. It's because Sophie cries a lot and my body doesn't like all that crying." I just laughed.

I've quickly noticed how big and grown up Avery is getting by having a new baby at home and I know that these two sisters will grow to love each other as only sisters can. Avery watches over her and cares for her as if she was a second mother to her. I'm so proud of her and can't wait to see their bond strengthen over time.

When we first came home with Sophie, I was definitely sad about the time I had to spend away from Avery. It was something that was really hard for me and I had a lot of guilt knowing I couldn't hold Avery or play with her much. But she was so understanding and after a few weeks with the baby, I felt a lot better about it. Now, I'm able to balance the needs of the baby and play time with Avery. In fact, I took both of the girls swimming last week and it was great! One thing that I've really enjoyed is that having two children really requires you to do a lot of things together. It's awesome when we're all able to go for a walk and play at the park together, Sophie catching a lift in the stroller and Avery riding (and crashing a lot) on her bike. Just doing more together as a family has really made me recognize how important it is to treasure every moment, to get fulfillment from home and family. Sophia has given me such a wonderful gift in that way.

And, by the way, Sophie is just so precious and adorable. She is nearly twelve pounds already and is just starting to smile! She loves to be held and rocked and I sing to her a lot, which she seems to like, too. The swing we have for her has been a life saver during urgent mommy moments like when I have to use the bathroom, take a shower, brush my teeth, etc!

We do tummy time a lot and I set her on my chest and she lifts her little head and looks straight at me. She began turning from tummy to back at six weeks so I can't put her on the bed or couch to rest any longer. She's also been drooling quite a bit and I remember Avery getting her first two teeth at four months, so maybe we'll see some teeth here in the next couple of months. She is beginning to look like her mommy quite a bit, I think, while Avery continues to look more and more like her daddy as she gets older each year.

It's been an extremely fast 15 weeks and after I picked up Sophie from the sitter's, I started to think about time and how quickly these precious moments pass us by. Although some days are definitely chaotic and very challenging, I sat at dinner today and said to John, "we have a great life, you know." And then I prayed that Father Time would let these precious times in our crazy life last a little longer.

We're on the homestretch!

Well, now...According to my calendar, we've got just 41 days until little girl #2 arrives! If all goes as planned she will be born March 24th, 2009 at approximately 7:45 AM. Certainly you're wondering how we could possibly know this. And let me tell you, becoming pregnant has definitely not given me any extra special talents stemming from the brain, like for instance, psychic powers--in fact, it's exactly the opposite. I took Avery to the Doctor just the other day and I had to really think hard about what her birth date was--luckily she knew and told the Doctor. I either looked like an awful mother who forgets when her children were born or a good mother with a smart kid! Let's hope it's the latter! Anyway, the reason we know when she'll be born is because I will be having a cesarean section, or C-section. It was recommended by my Doctor in Ames that we do so just to be extra safe. When we found out this was the case, I tried to be positive about it and am still trying. But I think I'm just feeling like it's so against nature. It's not what I would've preferred, I suppose. Okay, so all you women who've gone through natural child birth are probably thinking "Lady, you're crazy"! Now, if I really remembered what natural labor felt like and it was fresh in my mind, maybe I'd be thinking the same thing. I do remember, but then again, it has been five years already! I think most of all, I really thought the whole birthing process was amazing. Let me explain: I remember the excitement of heading to the hospital knowing what was about to happen and also knowing I had some hard, painful hours ahead of me. However, being there in the delivery room with my husband, both of us anticipating what was to come, working together through the pain, meeting true exhaustion together...and then hearing "she's coming, just one more big push..." and then hearing her precious little cry and seeing her tiny perfect fingers, nose, ears, toes...the whole experience is something I can not put into words. So many emotions crashing together at once...I suppose I can only say it's something you probably don't experience and can't relate to until you yourself go through it. And not just the women, it's the guys, too. After all of this, being told you're having the baby "on Tuesday, March 24th at 7:30 AM" seems totally strange to me. I actually watched a C-section on tape. Yeah, shouldn't have done that. It was so fast and awkward--the big curtain's up so you can't see what's happening and you can't feel it as they make the incision because you're completely numb, but you're awake and can feel some pressure as they grab the tiny little babe and pull her out. And then within 10 minutes, she's here. They take her away while you're stitched up for the next hour and then you have to go through a much more extensive recovery than what natural birth requires. And I had heard you at least get to pick the day if you have to have a scheduled labor, but I sure didn't. If I got to pick, I sure wouldn't have said I wanted to go in for pre-op at 6 AM on a Tuesday. I couldn't tell you what I would've decided. But I think I would have chosen to maybe come in a bit later in the day! Even, 8 or 9 is better than 6 AM. But, I guess I went in to the hospital at 2 AM last time, so what am I complaining about, right? In my heart, I know everything will be just fine and seeing our little girl for the first time will bring us just as much joy this time around as it did last time, even if it has to happen via a very different method.

As we're heading down the homestretch, I truly am feeling some major anticipation for her arrival. Even more so this time I think, because we were trying to become pregnant and really wanted a sibling for Avery so when the test finally came back positive, it was wonderful news for all of us. And I can feel that she's getting ready for her own arrival too as her kicking is becoming very strong! And she's getting hiccups fairly often now. Avery had the hiccups all the time those last couple of months, too. It seemingly always occurs when I head to bed. Same with the kicking. It's like she's struggling to find a comfortable position in there--I can't even imagine what it must be like trying to do that in such a confined space (even though it looks to me like she's got more than enough room in that belly of mine!). We've been really busy preparing for her arrival. We just got through painting the downstairs bedroom and upstairs dining and living room this last weekend with mom and dad (thank you, again!). This weekend we've got to take all of Avery's furniture downstairs, as the bedroom we painted will be her bedroom now. This has been sort of a difficult move for all of us--especially Ava. She loves her room upstairs right by mom and dad's room and giving it up to her little sister who's not even here yet, is not exactly what she expected. She loves climbing in our bed with us in the morning and snuggling and "sleepovers" (this just means Friday night she gets Tang and popcorn, gets to pick out the activity for the night--usually a Disney video which she watches for maybe a full 30 minutes with mom and dad--and then gets to sleep in mom and dad's bed until we come to bed and take her in her own room) are her absolute favorite. But, I told her using the best choice of words, why the baby needed to be upstairs next to mom. She still wasn't exactly persuaded until I told her she could pick out some cool nightlights and walkie talkies and new stuff for her new room. And I told her mom could sleep with her in the trundle bed for a couple of nights. Then it was just great! We'll see what happens next week when she actually sleeps down there for the first time. It could be a long night for all of us. I'm hoping we read books, she falls asleep and begins snoring like any other normal night. And I'm hoping I can do the same as I know my days of sleeping through the night are numbered...41 left if all goes as planned!

Happy Valentine's day everyone! Happy Birthday, Dad! Love you all and we will write again soon (history repeats itself, so count on a month or so! I'll really try to get one up sooner)!